Olympic Emotions

Feelings. What would we be without them?
Not human.

The Olympic Games bring out the very most of the experience of being human. It's quite enough to sit in front of the TV and watch the games. Exciting, breathtaking, even impossible to look sometimes. Hiding behind a cushion, praying they will make it.

Sweden is very good at the winter Olympics. For such a small nation, we are great actually. This makes me happy and proud and I really applaud all the athletes!

It's weird how fast tears will appear in my eyes when I see a Swedish participant step up on the winners' stand to recieve the goldmedal (or silver, or bronze, it doesn't matter). An amazing feeling in the chest and a big smile on my face. So much joy but also so much sadness when someone fails to achieve what we've hoped for.

Just like in other parts of life.

The human experience it built from all of these feelings, emotions.

I mean, if we don't care for sports, we don't watch the Olympics and also don't share the joy of a goldmedal - but we don't have to deal with the pain of the losses either.

But most humans don't have the choice to avoid failure and losses in real life. We have to be here, for the whole race, the ups and downs. And when the down period have lasted for several years and all you really want and long for is a chance to climb up from the dark valley and see the view again. Really see it, to actually believe it's there, and feel the life force, not just some wasted hope again and again. To feel strong and confident and just not care at all about what people say.

To know with your heart and soul that this is my life and I decide what I want to do and where I want to go. And just go and do it.

To be your own Olympic athlete in your own race and live it the fullest.

I've been on my knees so many times and I've got up again and again. I'm not alone, many people fight really hard. I'm not talking about sports anymore, I hope you get that.

I'm sick of the dark side, the pain, the fighting - I long for the sunshine and the warm feelings of love and a million hugs. I know life is made of both dark and light. We need both, we need balance.

Tears of joy, tears of sadness.

Winners, losers.

We learn, we grow and one day we will be exactly where we're supposed to.

Breathing fresh air, with a great view. With the right person.


Jingle bells or silence?

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, as they say and sing. My personal favourite Christmas song is Fairytale of New York with the Pogues. I'm actually gonna put it on now. I love the feel. (Just pretend you're hearing it too. Aaaahhh!) Sad and joyful at the same time. Just like life itself.

"We kissed on the corner then danced through the night"

"Happy Christmas your arse I pray God it's our last"

"I could have been someone - well so could anyone"

Please, just listen to it if you don't know it. (Parental advisory: explicit content...)

Today I've been extra Christmasy, and made gingerbread. It's a big thing in Sweden. Without gingerbread cookies, there would hardly be Christmas at all. The best thing when baking, is the amazing scent that spreads in the house. Lovely!

Well, not a blog post from me without discussing mental health. Preparing for Christmas, decorating your home and baking stuff - all things keeping you busy are a very good idea. Doing nothing and thinking too much - bad.

Sometimes you don't have a choice. Sometimes just trying to convince yourself to get out of bed is enough. But one day you will wake up and feel good, looking forward to the day. When this happens, after a period of awful dark days, life suddenly feels so easy. You have to be patient, and wait for that day. It will come. Again and again.

There wouldn't be any light without the darkness.

Every human being consists of both darkness and light.

You can't be 100 percent positive all the time. That's not real, not human.

What I'm trying to say is: don't be afraid of the darkness. There's where you're going to find the light, love and life. Eventually.

For you lucky, happy bastards: keep doing what you're doing!

Me, I'll keep walking the path in front of me. Two steps ahead, and one step back. Waiting for the turn, where I'll find my sun. One day.

Happy Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Whatever!!!

See you next year!